Listening

Right from our childhood, we’ve been taught how to read, write and speak.  But we’ve never been taught how to listen.  But, listening is as important as or may be more important than reading, writing and speaking. If you are not a good listener, you are not a good communicator. 

Listening is one of the important aspects in communication skill. It’s a people skill too, ie., those who don’t listen cannot be good in relating to people and they cannot earn the respect and take others into confidence.

Good leaders who can influence the other people are good listeners.  Without listening, one cannot be a good leader.

Listening means understanding, caring, empathizing and respecting.  If you don’t listen, it just means that you don’t understand, care, empathize and you don’t respect. That’s the message that would be perceived by the other person.

Let us look at few scenarios given below and ask ourselves how would we have felt ?

# You’ve a serious problem in your team which you are trying to explain to your Manager and asking for his intervention.  He is also busy with his timelines. While he is trying to listen, he is doing something on his laptop.  How would you feel? Would you feel confident that he has understood your problem? Would you rate him as a good boss?  More than his intervention, you would have preferred few minutes of his undivided attention just listening to you. 

# You are going to a Dr. for a health problem.  When you are explaining your health condition, he is not listening to you. However, he is giving you a prescription for week. Would you feel confident to follow it?  Would you feel comfortable to go to the same Doctor again even if he were to be rated as a good doctor? The chances are very unlikely.

# This one is an interesting hypothetical scenario that we can very much relate to. Let us say, your wife is talking to you and you are busy reading newspaper.  When asked if you are listening to her, you say that, “don’t you know I am capable of doing two things at a time. I am reading and listening to you as well. What do you think would be her response to you?

Do one thing at a time. Close the newspaper and listen to me NOW.. (may be on top of her voice) Period. You don’t have any other choice other than keeping the newspaper away and listening to her. (Illustration on listening told by Swami Dayanantha saraswathi in one of his speeches).

My thoughts on listening

# First let us accept and understand that, without listening, we are not  good communicators. 

# You cannot multitask when someone is talking to you. Listening needs dedicated attention. 

# Listening is more than hearing. You actively try to understand what someone is trying to say.

# When you listen, you need to listen with an open mind.

# Without effective listening, we cannot be good in inter personal skills; we cannot be good leader and managers.

# If you are not listening, you are not respecting and you are rude.

# Listening has a therapeutic value.  When you are listened to genuinely, most of times, you feel better as though your problems are already solved.

# if you don’t listen, you cannot take the other person into confidence. you cannot earn the respect and trust. You cannot lead people.

# If you are not listening, you are not humble enough.

# Listening is an active process and it needs undivided attention and focus from you.

Have you come across poor listeners and how did they make you feel whenever you interacted with them? How good are you in listening? Do share your experience. 

diD yOU enJOY ReADinG ThIS ArTIcLE? 

                                  If yES, 

yOU maY sHAre it wiTH Your FriENds tOO